Socially Awkward

The older I get the more socially awkward I feel. I am so uncomfortable in group situations, especially when I don't know anyone. Last night was Joe's holiday work party and I was so out of my element. I talked his boss' wife's ear off. I know I was rambling and probably over-sharing, because that is what I do when I get nervous and have a couple glasses of wine. I brag about unimportant things and dwell on sad things. I kept looking at my watch counting the minutes, knowing I was being completely awkward and probably making things awkward for said boss' wife. I wanted to go home so badly and be in the comfort of my home where I could be me.

After events like last night, I don't want to leave the house for a very long time because I am embarrassed by my behavior. I assure you, I wont be going back to Joe's work for quite sometime.

I try to change, but it always ends up the same. I get home and I don't like me. I stay upset with myself for days and I am in just a bad mood. So here we are again at that stage. I just hope I didn't say anything that will cause any issues for Joe. I am pretty sure, his boss and his boss' wife will just feel bad for Joe and think that I am certifiably crazy.

I know I am over-thinking this and should not dwell on it, because it is over and there are more important things to worry about. I need to stop throwing myself a pity party and just get on with life. So I will pick my self-pitying-self up off this couch and have a good day.

I hope you all have a good day as well. Happy Tuesday!

Nikki