I am not...

a good blogger! I said it. I thought this would be easy. Everyday write a little something. Then I started thinking that I am a little self absorbed. No one is going to want to read about my mundane life. Weeks go by, months go by and I haven't written. Then all of a sudden I feel inspired, but then what do I write about? I am a thirty-something married woman working in the burbs. I have no exceptional skills or talents and by all accounts I am pretty average.

I used to have big dreams. I used to want to be a high powered advertising exec, but then I worked in advertising. Now I don't. I am, for the most part, happy with my life just the way it is. I like my job. I love my husband and our baby girl. I love my dog and two cats. I like my condo, but wish I had a house with a yard. The housing market is keeping me from achieving that though.

The older I get the more I realize that I work to live, I don't live to work. I will probably never go back to school, unless it is for fun. I will never make six-figures, but I am ok with that.

The older I get, the less important name brands are to me. I am all about function over fashion these days - especially with an eight-month old!

The older I get the more comfortable in my own skin I become. I am me and that is all I can be. I will never be a 5'10" supermodel - especially since I am only 5'2" and I am already thirty-something!!

I may not be inspiring anyone else in their life, giving tips on anything or have fun stories about my past to share, but I am important. I am important to my daughter, my husband, my parents, my brothers, my friends and my co-workers. This makes me blessed and so very thankful for the life I do have. My completely average life, which at times is so much bigger than I could have ever asked for.

Old Ways

I went back to writing in my journal. To me it is more personal. I feel more connected to the words as I script the letters to my liking. Sister Mary Jane would be proud of how nice my penmanship has become. I can look back at the words I have written months ago and just based on the way the words appear on the page, I can tell how I was feeling that day. My handwriting changes with my mood. I can see if it is big and fluffy and know that that day I was happy and hopeful and when my handwriting is tight and uneven I know I was frustrated. I am a very emotional person and i don't just wear my heart on my sleeve, it covers my entire body.

Sitting here typing today in the quietness of my dinning/living room, I really appreciate and miss the old ways. As much as I love my Mac, I miss a good old fashion hand written letter. I miss the anticipation that came with waiting for the mail. Now everything is instant and we have lost all sense of patience because of it.

My Grandma wrote to her sister in England every week for over 65 years. That is how they communicated. There were very few phone calls and even fewer visits, but they still were able to stay connected for all those years being all those miles apart. I remember getting excited when Grandma would get a letter in the mail. Children today I am afraid will never know that excitement.

What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters.

You can't reread a phone call.

~Liz Carpenter

I am going to make a concerted effort to teach Gwen the art of letter writing. I know I need to do it more myself. I love stationary and pens. I actually have quite a collection of both. So as I sit here and type this, I make my resolution to send more "real" mail and less e-mail.

To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere

without moving anything but your heart.

~Phyllis Theroux