Friday, May 21, 2010


I have to admit I am a yeller. I have a bit of a short temper which is not good. Add that to my high anxiety and I have just created a bomb that could go off at any time and result in some not so nice phrases being said. My grandfather use to say - people swear because they have a limited vocabulary. I need to expand my vocabulary I guess and learn to relax a little bit better. I realized this after an impatient driver passed me today and I was so riled up that I went through a light with a one of those red light cams - it was yellow when I started going through the intersection so I hit the gas and think I made it through before it turned red. So now I am stressing about the possibility that I may be getting a nice ticket in the mail. I am quite aware that I obsess about things that I can not fix immediately and that stresses me out even more. The not knowing and the inability to be in control leaves me feeling so helpless and making situations, albeit in my mind, worse than they usually are. I can not control everything, but I can control my temper. I need to take a step back and let things go. I know I can, I am just stubborn. For everyones sake, especially my precious little girl, I need to relax and let things not bother me, well as much. I am a good mom and when it comes to my daughter, I pride myself in being relaxed with her. She is my calming mechanism. She takes all the stress away. I pick her up and all is better.
But I still hope I don't get a ticket!
Baby steps.

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